i'm quite pleased to say that my weekend was both productive and social!
two in one, and not bored for a moment!

Friday nite, after the soccer dinner, Catherine and I wound up at dinner with Katie and Hannah and hannah's family and friends on our way to see a production of RENT downtown. Cat and I managed to get a hold of 2 front row dead center tickets. I had never seen the movie or the broadway, but took a chance because all of them ensured that i'd love it. It was fabulous, and i dislike musicals, very moving, exhilirating and impressive. The dancing, the set desgin, the costumes were all fabulous and made me wish, once again, that i was in the city... or atleast college. Plus i'm now "in love" with Jared Stein, the conductor/director of music/first keyboard player for the cast and crew of Rent who is both talented and beautiful sporting a wonderful rendition of a mowhawk fowhawk i so dearly wish to see on my very own scalp one day.

I get such a rush of butterflies when i'm around talented youth. We were waiting for Cat and Katie to get out of the bathroom and we were near the stage exit door and all of the performers were coming through, all normal people (not celebrities, its their job and their just naturally talented) and though i dont approach them, when they leave i'm sad... i wished to associate with them and socialize, i don't know why but when ever i meet such talents, or walk by them after concerts or shows, i'm drawn to them. Even when i saw the guitar player for the music and the rest of the music crew walking down the same street as us, when they turned the corner and we didnt got dissapointed. I guess i'd hoped they'd meet up with us and realize we're interesting too and we'd be friends.

wow i'm pathetic.

So saturday, after a pathetic loss at a soccer game (somewhat prodcutive), I finally got to have a drum lesson after five weeks, cam wasn't mad at me, and I found a new method of learning fills so that i dont draw blanks when i start up a rhythm. So now i have three new fills i can throw around the set.
Speaking of drums, i found a buyer for my saxaphone and will be using the cash to buy a drum kit of my own sometime soon.

Oh, i also FINALLY, found train tickets and times for May when i visit marycate and i'm extremely excited and anxious cause it's been months... i think 5.

Back to saturday... so i thought i'd branch out and try and make new friends so i went out to dinner with Cat and her friend Ali, who i've known but have never made attempts to be friends. Then we went to the Tatnall musical... which was also impressive and talented but long... but i got to see the clint and bill and ali t. and spencey and kacey and so that was nice i felt very social like a regular teenager.

Today was more of the productivity though i do believe the finally setting out to sell my sax and bid on drum kits on ebay and get trian tickets to va are all quite productive. Today i babysat... for 3 hours... with a 3 year old... and did work.

ohkay rambling

i'm quite pleased to say that my weekend was both productive and social!
two in one, and not bored for a moment!

Friday nite, after the soccer dinner, Catherine and I wound up at dinner with Katie and Hannah and hannah's family and friends on our way to see a production of RENT downtown. Cat and I managed to get a hold of 2 front row dead center tickets. I had never seen the movie or the broadway, but took a chance because all of them ensured that i'd love it. It was fabulous, and i dislike musicals, very moving, exhilirating and impressive. The dancing, the set desgin, the costumes were all fabulous and made me wish, once again, that i was in the city... or atleast college. Plus i'm now "in love" with Jared Stein, the conductor/director of music/first keyboard player for the cast and crew of Rent who is both talented and beautiful sporting a wonderful rendition of a mowhawk fowhawk i so dearly wish to see on my very own scalp one day.

I get such a rush of butterflies when i'm around talented youth. We were waiting for Cat and Katie to get out of the bathroom and we were near the stage exit door and all of the performers were coming through, all normal people (not celebrities, its their job and their just naturally talented) and though i dont approach them, when they leave i'm sad... i wished to associate with them and socialize, i don't know why but when ever i meet such talents, or walk by them after concerts or shows, i'm drawn to them. Even when i saw the guitar player for the music and the rest of the music crew walking down the same street as us, when they turned the corner and we didnt got dissapointed. I guess i'd hoped they'd meet up with us and realize we're interesting too and we'd be friends.

wow i'm pathetic.

So saturday, after a pathetic loss at a soccer game (somewhat prodcutive), I finally got to have a drum lesson after five weeks, cam wasn't mad at me, and I found a new method of learning fills so that i dont draw blanks when i start up a rhythm. So now i have three new fills i can throw around the set.
Speaking of drums, i found a buyer for my saxaphone and will be using the cash to buy a drum kit of my own sometime soon.

Oh, i also FINALLY, found train tickets and times for May when i visit marycate and i'm extremely excited and anxious cause it's been months... i think 5.

Back to saturday... so i thought i'd branch out and try and make new friends so i went out to dinner with Cat and her friend Ali, who i've known but have never made attempts to be friends. Then we went to the Tatnall musical... which was also impressive and talented but long... but i got to see the clint and bill and ali t. and spencey and kacey and so that was nice i felt very social like a regular teenager.

Today was more of the productivity though i do believe the finally setting out to sell my sax and bid on drum kits on ebay and get trian tickets to va are all quite productive. Today i babysat... for 3 hours... with a 3 year old... and did work.

ohkay rambling

So maybe it is good that spring is going by fast. Apparently, says the pharmacist... i'm on the highest level of perscription allergy medications out there (i'm immune already), and this year is supposdly had the worst allergy season yet. I can deffinitly tell... as of last nite (when i woke up 6 time dry heaving and coughing and feeling like i wanna hurl) that i've got it pretty damn bad.

Soccer game today. I played the last full 20 minutes and made a difference. I won some 50/50s and i'm generally proud of my acheivments
Cant wait for Flower Market... hope i dont miss it. Yea Long Walk Home
My mood has really improved... gah thank god... what a lil sun can do my god!

I feel like, even though i'm ready for this year to be over, for it to be summer so i can go back to camp and forget about misc. facts crammed in my forehead, that time goes to fast. Its already almost the end of April, i missed half of the flowering plants in my backyard bloom because i have yet to have but a few minutes to sit outside and enjoy the beautiful weather.

Spring is such a short season because truly, March is still winter here, so we get April and May before it becomes to hot and humid to bear. Spring is when the mornings and evenings are cool but the days and afternoons are in the 60s and 70s and the sun is partly cloudy and everything is flowered and green. I feel like i've been rushed through this April and i missed out on how beautiful out it is.

Also, i've been attempting to see my out of school friends, such as Sage, Marycate, Bryan, Alex, Kjel, Becca, etc. and each weekend rushes towards me and they are all filled with commitments such as soccer dinners and games and school art shows and dinners and events that i can't miss....

Books books and more books... i have about 10 in my shopping cart for amazon.com, was given one about religions and cults by my father to read that i'm interested in and was recommended 2 300-600 page books from a friends (Pat Conroy's books) ... but i have NO Time to read. In fact i barely have any useful free time at all... no time for drum lessons (haven't had one in 5 weeks), no time for walks in the park, no time to cook dinners, no time to see friends from out of state, no time to see friends from in state, no time to go to the movies (Thank You For Smoking is out)

I'm rushed and overwhelmed and time is flying by
is it a good thing or am i missing something?

I was thoroughly embarassed today... not that anyone noticed... but being that i'm the worst player on the soccer team and so dry humored man comes in and makes me look like a joke... not purposly but still....

and i'm angry because for the fifth week in a row... my drum lesson has gotten canceled... and cam is mad at ME for being frustrated with him about it. Why shouldnt i be frustrated... its been five weeks and he's blaming me about my schedule when he's been in Canada and now LA and out to dinner and having gigs.

Today was just overall frustrating. Spanish class... i had no idea what was going on and it was so hot out and my head hurt and i was confused. Band, i screwed up the easiest of songs and our concert is on wednesday... and i have a soli with the other 2 tenors and we're gunna play like ####...


And isn't it the same mistake?
And isn't it the same mistake?
And isn't it the same mistake?
There's not much you can escape
And isn't it the same?
We awake in the light
Feeling hollow and selfishly warm

Yeah, it's fear, it makes you slow
And these creatures look crooked
Their shadows cut lines through my face
And the concrete is fire where my bare feet are placed
In a line next to yours

And it must have been sweat but I drank it like wine
It was sweet, my mouth was dry
I heard your scream but I made no reply
I can still taste it now if i can

A good day ends on a bad note
That bad note transforms into
a next bad day of dwelling on
the bad note but eventually
your efforts are rewarded
and your bad day ends
with a good note.

dissapointment lingers about me all at once it stuck

I need to start exercising again.

I'm unhappy with my constant eating habit, i need to start out healthy again like i use to be, no more of this cheesey junk foods like cheezits and goldfish.... Sitting around on the soccer field while everyone plays the game doesnt bother me, but its causing my body to become unfit, especially when after every game they give us cookies and cupcakes... beautiful gesture but they're truly trying to plumpin me up. I'm unhappy with my appearence and i'm going to fix it the correct way, with proper diet and exercise.... today instead of sitting on my ass on the computer when i got home, i embraced the oppertunity i had of not having classes tomorow to do a skateboarding journey to the park. I know skateboarding sounds easy... just let the wheels roll you around, but i happen to live at a park where it's all up hill or downhill and then back up again and so i got my heart pumpin.

Today in the soccer game, for the brief moment that i got in (less than five minutes) i shoved some girls around because we were down 5-0 to our archenemies of the soccer team... i was proud that i put my skills to the test and that even though i'm not the best or most talented (more like least talented) that i made a difference on the field, won a fifty fifty and tried to do something with the ball.

I'm extremely happy about my grades, because i keep doubting myself for what work i've accomplished... thinking my grades are plummiting. But so far this quarter i've gotten a 98 for my Math 3rd Q grade and came out with a 96%. For english, my grade only dropped one point (damn SLB paper!) so i got a 91 for the quarter and finished out with a 93% in the class.... i have no clue what is to become of this. While i was gone we performed out History Salons, and ours was a great write up and we got a 90%... but apparently that was the worst grade? Wonder how we ###### that one up..... hmm....

So right now things are good.... tomorow i get to spend time with Katie on the ART SCAVENGER HUNT!!!!! YES good times good times.... thankgod...

Jealousy Rides With Me

---^^^---
great video by death cab directed by Keith Schofield

today went better
much better
besides the fact that my math teacher had to basically did my test for me... jeez....

One of the hardest things to part with is a great big bowl of fruit salad

Day of Silence: April 4th 2006.

I had a difficult evening
I fear my relationship with my sister will continue to decompose

I'm proud of the person i've become. I find that i'm a genuinly good person, if not better. I go out of my way to help or please others. I do better than average on all work that is given to me. I have a good relationship with both my mother and my father. I have many friends that love me. I have teachers that value my accomplishments within the class room and respect my hard work. I have a mind of my own with my own thoughts, opinions and passions. I have a life outside of my work.

I've recognized my problems, and slowly I'm changing them. I no longer want to use the word hate anymore. I no longer want to complain about what is ahead or what has just occured. I no longer want to dwell on what has happened in the past or what could've happened in the past. I no longer want to be anti-social just because i'm not elsewhere. I no longer want to make only negative comments but instead help myself and others look on the bright side of things.

I've already begun to change myself in that way but it seems to, suprisingly, be angering some people. Two in particular. I think it is because they're falling backwards and i'm pushing forwards and they're angry or confused... i wish that instead of getting angry they'd talk to me or ask me to help them out with their issues. Instead they get mad and create a competition on who has the most problems when all i want to do is eliminate mine.

i'm super stressed cause i'm missing 2 days of school... which means the 2 history projects and the science test coming up... are going to be swerved around... and brought back to haunt me later. great. i think i'm the only kid out there who is afraid of missing a day of school. take it back... you can name half the kids at my school... what's the cause... My School

Live Concerts
Of all of the live shows i have seen, death cab for cutie continues to astound me. The vocals are perfectly pitched and the sound envelops and surrounds you.
The set was beautiful. Cutouts of White houses with uneven rectangle windows and scraggly trees popped up against a "crooked teeth" sky line reflected across the back wall of the stage.
That was deffinitly the shirt he was wearing so that picture must've been from the show last nite. It's quite remarkable to watch his shirt change colors as he swobs up sweat. Last time he wore a light brown shirt and at the end it was 10 shades darker. Intense Condensation.

Weekends like this are worth while. I got to spend time with one of my best friends, Sage, which always cheers me up. Today we went on a picnic in the park, alone cause everyone that i asked to come was busy with tea parties and neighbor's birthday bashes and family bbq's.

I severly miss katie and i'm so glad she's home and that she enjoyed her trip to new zealand... the sad thing is i'll only have 3 school days with her til i'm off to Charelston on a road trip... but i do think a nice 5 day weekend will do me good, minus the work i'm gunna have to make up.

Yikes, how come all i can think about is school work. That's an issue.

I do find myself regretting not switching schools for next year. Everytime i see Tatnall and Friends' kids, i'm jealous cause they look like they're having so much friends. And all of the Sophmores and Juniors i know at Tatnall are really nice and continue to urge me to go there.... but i can't leave katie